Understanding common mistakes people make during their divorce can help you avoid the same traps. Your Portland divorce attorney will be your ally and can advise you during the divorce while offering advice specific to your individual situation.
Going through a divorce is stressful, and the resulting emotions are not unexpected. It’s helpful to be aware of how these emotions may impact decision-making during this time. Whether you are working through a collaborative and civilized divorce or one that is fueled with difficulty and conflict, the approach should be the same. What’s important is to not allow stress or confusion to overwhelm your decisions during the process.
Though this may be a difficult time, keep in mind that there are certain pitfalls you need to watch out for while negotiating and filing for divorce.
Rushing to Settle
It’s understandable to want to finalize a divorce quickly and move forward to end this chapter and start a new one, but this can compromise a fair outcome. Full information is essential in settling on a proposal that is the best resolution for all parties. Though it may be tempting to accept the first settlement proposed or settle before all pertinent information is available, it may leave you with an unfavorable result. Sitting down with an experienced divorce mediator may be best for both parties to work toward a solution.
It’s helpful to take your time and think through these decisions carefully while consulting your Portland divorce attorney. Once an agreement has been signed by a judge, it cannot be reversed or changed unless you go through additional court proceedings, and often only if there were assets omitted (either intentionally or unintentionally). Take the time to carefully consider settlement proposals before accepting them and work toward a resolution that is best for your situation.
Not Setting Appropriate Boundaries for Your Children
Age-appropriate communication with your children is crucial during a divorce. It can be a confusing time, and it’s important they work through their feelings and have a safe place to ask questions. It’s also essential to clarify that it’s not their fault and to provide reassurance.
Healthy communication with your children about the divorce should include balance. It’s important to not overshare or fail to prepare them by not discussing it all or avoiding the subject. Keep the conversation age-specific and avoid speaking negatively about the other parent.
Before discussing the divorce with them, take time to think about what is appropriate and what is inappropriate for them to know and set healthy boundaries. There are several books available that cover how to speak to your children about divorce, or a family therapist may be a viable option.
At the time, every detail may seem critical to take to court. In the interest of not dragging out the process, select which issues are worth taking to court and which ones can be negotiated. Your Portland divorce attorney can help decide which issues fall into which category if you are struggling.
Keep the end goal in focus when making these decisions so you can secure a positive future.
Refusing to Negotiate
A common mistake in divorce is rushing the process, but the opposite can be true as well. Negative feelings or a desire to make a spouse “pay” for their shortcomings in the relationship can unnecessarily drag out a divorce.
This may not be true in each divorce, but unresolved issues or anger in some separations may lead to attempting to use the legal process as an opportunity to get even. Refusing to compromise and insisting on going to court or dragging out court appearances can cost time and money. The court may not view this favorably and it could cost you. It’s natural to be angry, but do your best to stay focused so you can focus on the best outcome for yourself.
Listening to Misinformation
Everyone has advice and opinions when it comes to a divorce, whether it’s your family, friends, or the internet. Though some of this counsel may be wise, especially from someone who has previous experience with divorce, keep in mind that a legal process requires the services of an attorney local to you who specializes in family law and how it relates to your situation. With the internet putting a lot of sources at our fingertips, there can be a lot of misinformation that will lead you astray.
An experienced attorney specializing in family law will have detailed knowledge in divorce, as well as other areas of legal practice, and can help you reach the best resolution possible. They will be your ally, help mediate, and help advise you in obtaining the best possible outcome in your divorce.
Whether you need help with legal representation or advice in separation, divorce, custody, or establishing parenting time, Warren Allen LLP is here to help. Our experienced attorneys have detailed knowledge of family law and other areas of legal practice that may arise in domestic relations. Contact us today and let our attorneys help you secure a positive future and the best resolution possible.
Forgetting to Keep Long-Term Goals in Mind
It’s easy to get stuck in the past and forget to create a plan for your future. There are a lot of factors to consider that can be overlooked when dealing with the overwhelming and immediate details. Receiving helpful counsel from professionals like a Portland divorce attorney, counselors, or financial experts may be helpful in staying grounded and creating a plan for the future. This can include protecting the future well-being of children, your mental health, property, and finances.
You may need to make a plan for parenting time, keeping your children’s best interests in mind. You may need to account for financial changes such as a change in income, the differences in separate property and marital property, as well as changes in income tax post-divorce.
Seeking the counsel of professionals, family, and friends can help you create a support team for your family, so you don’t have to go through the process alone. Having help from a knowledgeable and supportive team will help you avoid some of the common divorce mistakes.
Going through a divorce can be a difficult time, but making careful decisions and accepting the correct types of help can guide you to a more favorable future.